hello 911? i'd like to report the police

Perhaps the New Orleans Police Department needs to call the police, according to the Times-Picayune.
NOPD scrutiny unmatched in nation, Justice Department official says

By Laura Maggi, The Times-Picayune

March 25, 2010, 7:03PM

The New Orleans Police Department is under more federal scrutiny by prosecutors from the U.S. Department of Justice's civil rights division than any other police agency in the country, the head of that unit said this week.

Assistant Attorney General Thomas Perez

Assistant Attorney General Thomas Perez, who spent two days in New Orleans visiting with local criminal justice leaders and community members, called the NOPD "one of the most troubled departments in the country."

"That is undeniable and very disconcerting," Perez said in an interview with The Times-Picayune, while adding that he believes there is a broad consensus among New Orleanians that the department needs to be cleaned up.

Perez's division of the Justice Department has been active in the New Orleans area, not only spearheading numerous probes of police actions in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, but also conducting a civil investigation into the conditions at the Orleans Parish jail. Perez has also been in discussions with Louisiana legislators about the redistricting process that will follow this year's census, as the civil-rights division will need to sign off on any plan to change political boundaries. 

exterminate that louisiana mullet, billy

I can't believe that I hadn't discovered this show until yesterday:

Billy the Exterminator is a reality show about, you guessed it, a man named Billy who is an exterminator in Shreveport, Louisiana. Billy's show supports the vision of Oh, Louisiana - that is, to celebrate and deplore the ridiculousness that is the 18th state - in the following ways.

1. Do you see that hair? Case closed.

2. Of all the wonders in Louisiana, television has only picked up on two reasons that the state exists: unwanted animals and redneck crime.

3. Billy rides around in a black pickup truck with cages in the back.

4. In a bio of Billy's wife Mary on the website, it says "She once incited a prison riot, but it wasn't her fault."

5. You can buy autographed Vexcon Mardi Gras beads at their online store.

6. Seriously, do you see that hair? You will not see that style in any other state, I promise you.

7. Billy earned "a masters certification for termite control at LSU." Who else would offer a masters certification for termite control?

This is for the comments: on the link to A&E's message boards on Billy the Exterminator, the text reads: "Does Billy think he's a heartthrob?" Discuss.

at least the cockatoo would be quieter

A Louisiana woman reflects upon the value of loud, smelly animals - and pretty birds, too, in this article from the Shreveport Times.

Woman pleads to selling children

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS • FEBRUARY 23, 2010

VILLE PLATTE — A 52-year-old Pitkin woman has pleaded guilty to two counts of sale of a minor in connection with allegations she traded two children to a couple in exchange for a cockatoo and $175.

Donna Louise Greenwell received 15 months of hard labor on each count on Monday, which will run concurrently.

The Evangeline Parish Clerk of Court's Office tells The Advocate that Greenwell will begin serving her sentence March 25.

The couple, Paul James Romero and Brandy Lynn Romero, each pleaded guilty to the same charges in October.

Greenwell was accused of selling the couple a 4-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy. Both children were under Greenwell's care after the children' biological parents had left them with her.

heckuva job, louisiana

The Associated Press reports that stupidity is not limited to native Louisianians:

Karl Rove defends Bush's Katrina response in his memoir

By The Associated Press

March 03, 2010, 9:37AM

Republican strategist Karl Rove in a new memoir staunchly defends President George W. Bush's handling of Hurricane Katrina, which devastated states along the Gulf of Mexico in September 2005.

In his book, Karl Rove blames state and local officials -- not President George Bush -- for botching Katrina recovery efforts.Bush came under withering criticism for the federal government's response to the crisis; his memorable praise for FEMA administrator Michael Brown -- "Heck of a job, Brownie" -- was fodder for those who said it revealed the administration's detachment and incompetence.

In the book, Rove blames state and local officials for botching recovery efforts, particularly Gov. Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, both Democrats.

Rove also says that the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq badly damaged the Bush administration's credibility and led to dwindling public support for the war.

forget katrina, here's the next major disaster

The Shreveport Times reports that Louisianians continue to be baffled by plastic and helium:

Balloons cause power outage in downtown Houma

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS • MARCH 17, 2010

HOUMA — Balloons tangled in an electrical substation caused much of downtown Houma to lose power.

The bundle of balloons floated into the substation late Tuesday afternoon.

Tom Bourg, parish utilities director, says a large section of downtown lost power.

Traffic signals turned off and drivers used most intersections as four-way stops.

Bourg said the balloons apparently floated into the substation and became stuck, leading to the outage. Power was out for about 10 minutes.

oh, louisiana! you're hurting me!

Although the research appears quite sketchy, condomania.com claims that New Orleans has, ahem, something to brag about:

oh, real world + oh, louisiana = urine on a toothbrush

According to the Times-Picayune, the 36,732,584th season of The Real World has run into some trouble in the great state of Louisiana:

Real World New Orleans: Toothbrush-as-toilet scrubber sickens housemate, triggers police action

By Richard Thompson, The Times-Picayune

March 21, 2010, 3:20AM

John McCusker / TPThe MTV 'Real World: New Orleans' house owned by Baron Davis, who left the New Orleans Hornets in 2005 and now plays for Los Angeles Clippers.

A MTV "Real World: New Orleans"housemate urinated on a rival’s toothbrush and used it to scrub a toilet, sickening the other residentduring filming of the upcoming season of the long-running reality TV show, according to a police report filed on the incident.  

The aggrieved housemate, Ryan Leslie, blamed the tainted toothbrush for a subsequent illness, and summoned police to the Uptown New Orleans house in the 1600 block of Dufossat Street. Though police conducted interviews and confiscated evidence, no one was arrested. (Read the official New Orleans Police report )